HOHOS. Yesterday went to great world city 'nd for the first time, there got a lot a lot a lot of shuai ges nia! gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhs! x.x! Siansian. I'm gonna force my parents to bring me to pacific plaza again. :XX. To buy next year's school stuff. (:<. I'm so bad right. Yeh, i know. xDD. If you count today, it's like, four more days to that day! oh my tian! T.T. BOWEN, BOWEN, BOWEN! HOHOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS. xDD. Finally, i get to chat with cammie baobei on msn wors. I LOVE HER TRUCKLOADS LAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IT'S LOVE AT FIRST CHAT! LOL. :XX. I'm hyper today also! I'm hyper almost everyday cans. xDD. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhs. I thought that i'd quit slitting already. But i was wrong. I slitted yesterday again. Not on my hand, but on my leg. Slitting on my hand was far too obvious. I'm so sorry if i gave an empty promise to any of you. I didn't mean to do it .. I slit. Not because of a guy. But because of my parents. They want me to get along with them better. I tried. I joked with them but they took it seriously. I even tio whack .. Well, i guess that they're just not the type that one can joke with. Next time, i'll just keep quiet. Unless they ask me something that needs my answer, i dare not speak. I fear of saying something wrong again with this idiotic mouth of mine. The next time they hit me, since i don't have a cane at home, i hope that they'll use a bamboo pole instead. It'll be far much more pain. I can cry it all out at that moment .. But i just hope that they'll whack me til i die on that spot. I don't want to live anymore. Everybody is seriously living me .. Living me all alone .. My parents always call me an ah lian. What kind of girl to them is a perfect 'nd well behaved one? They always compare me with my cousin. They always say, '' If only you were them .. '' Don't need to if only. You can just throw me in an orphange or something 'nd just have her as your daughter if her parents agree. It's okay if you want a dramatic daughter. You can just have her. I won't mind. It's better than having this stupid ah lian right? They wanted me to teach my sister chinese. I did. I really did even though i really hated doing so. Did i even hear a thank you from them? I never ever heard a thank you from them. Never .. Would it kill them to say just this two words? I teached my sister manners cos i didn't want her to end up like me. But my parents didn't believe me. They didn't believe that i knew good manners. I never get what i want while my sister always does. If i die one day, it's not their fault. IT'S MINE. IT'S FREAKING MINE. BLAME ME FOR NOT TOLERATING WITH IT. BLAME ME FOR HAVING SO MANY BLOOD STAINS ON MY TOWEL. I have a low tolerance level. I might just collapse any minute. Do they know that? I doubt so. I'm seriously looking forward to the day i die .. I'm just faking it. I'm not hyper at all .. My hyperness exists because i don't want people to know that i'm devastated .. No one understands me. NO ONE .. Thought about him again. Sighs. Why can't i just forget about him? I hope that i'll lose my memory one fine day. I know that he can never be mine ever again .. Hope that you'll find the girl of your dreams soon. At least someone who's better than me. Zann wishes you good luck. Smiles on twenty four seven .. <`3 .. |