Happy birthday to me, i guess.
One year older is another year off my life.
Now, my life's one year shorter, isn't that just great?
The perfect birthday i wished for went totally wrong.
Everything was just fine until a few hours ago.
Went out with my godmother, her family 'nd mine.
Didn't get to, choose the place where i wanted to eat.
We went to Cafe Cartel.
They didn't ask me what i wanted to eat/drink.
I doubt that they even know that i was there.
Barely ate anything.
Asked whether i could take neoprints.
No.
Went out 'nd they didn't know where to go next.
Suggested taking neoprints because i wanted to remember today.
No, waste of money.
This totally killed my mood for today.
I won't mind if she said no.
But can she not say that it's a waste of money?
It's like she's saying that whatever is spent on my birthday is just a waste of money.
They went to mac to drink coffee after leaving cafe cartel.
They bought icecream.
No appetide.
Played with my phone to kill time.
Seeing my mood, my father forced my mother to bring me to take neos.
They asked me to go but i don't feel like taking neos anymore.
What's the point, it's just a waste of money.
Mother, godmother, cousin 'nd sister waited for me outside mac.
Had no choice but to go.
In the end, the shop was closed.
They went shopping but i had no mood to shop.
Just stood outside waiting for them.
Cried.
After that, went home.
Got scolded just now.
I swear that i could've taken the penknife if it was with me.
So much for turning thirteen.
Now, i know what my greatest wish is.
To die earlier. If possible, now.
My existence is not needed in this world.
My family hates me 'cause i'm a burden to them.
I don't really have true friends.
Nobody loves me.
I can just forget about looking forward to my sweet sixteen.
I don't want to give myself false hopes like what just happened.
I guess, never know what's the true meaning of happiness 'nd heart aches are all i'll ever be experiencing..